Background:
As a child, I did feel automatically connected to a Source I call God.
As time went by, like many of us, I got caught up in Life On Earth. This World.
A few difficult bumps in the road shook my faith. Divorce of parents, loss of father.
Then, college taught me to believe half of what I see and a quarter of what I hear.
The personal challenges marched on- physical health issues, rough marriage, an aging difficult parent; the works. But really: Life On Earth. What most people live through.
Spiritual dispondency grew.

The Query:
Fast forward to mid forties:
As I approached the age at which my father died, the questions became impossible to ignore:

•        Is there life after death?
•        Is there a God?

The Search:
As a social studies teacher, I found myself teaching World Religions.
I studied them; but not deeply; I felt some sense of connection with a few; but none promised immediate answers. Only a life-time of study and commitment.

I sought out a well-reputed psychic medium, sat before him with my arms folded and legs crossed and not surprisingly -can you say: blocking?- he got nothing.

Frequenting bookstores I read literally dozens of volumes on metaphysics as well as biographies of those who claimed the inside track.
But it all boiled down to taking someone else's word for it.
Or:  *FAITH* - that thing I did not have hard-wired.

1st Hand Experience:
Finally, determined to discover the answers to my two questions for myself; I began a search for truth- and came upon several good paths.
Most were religious; but without the basic element of faith, that was a dead end for me.
I needed first hand experience.

I found a Spiritualist school of study: Fellowship Of the Spirit, located at that time, on the grounds of Lily Dale, a Spiritualist community in NY.
I studied for over two years there-
And continue to take classes, studying with various respected teachers in this field.

Spiritualism is not a religion, per se:
It is a philosophy. Based upon Judeo-Christian ideas; it simply postulates, additionally, the concept of Life After Death, and then procedes to prove it via demonstrations.
Spiritualist services are a mix of hymns and prayers with a talk on metaphysics, Spiritual Healing sesssions for those who wish them and then demonstrations of mediumship by Spiritualist Ministers who give messages to those in the audience.

The prayers are to God; the Judeo-Christian God we are all familiar with in the U.S.
The hymns raise the energy in the room; if you are tuned in to the Divine Presence (via prayer and meditation) you can actually feel that Presence become more palpable.
I get that experience in many different kinds of churches and temples during prayer and song, by the way.

The answers to my questions:
Finding God:
The first class I took involved an experience with meditation, a sample of how a reading works and a hands- on lesson with Spiritual Healing.
The healing did not interest me in the slightest.
As we began, I resentfully regarded it as 20 minutes about to be sucked out of my life.

Yet something very odd occured.
For as I followed directions; PRAYING (to a God, whose existence I doubted), expressed the INTENT that healing flow through me into this person, and placed my hands on his back (the only reasonable spot left, as there were some half dozen pairs of hands upon him already)...
I had an experience that I can only describe- very inadequately, in this way:

•        Warm Light shot through me from the top of my head down to my feet.
•        I "saw" an image (on the movie screen in my mind) of this man's pancreas and was "told"-without words- several things about him, instantly, in a kind of data download. Info later verified, by the way.
  

•        Then I was flooded with such a powerful feeling of love that came from outside myself- that I had to clench my chattering teeth to keep from sobbing loudly, and leave the building to collect myself. Still worried about my dignity in those days. Ha.
  

What was this?
I believe- yes Believe- that this was an experience of God's closeness.
Why then? Why me? I have no idea- Mercy? A loving gift? I don't know, but I am grateful.

I have not been able to duplicate the experience, by the way. And I have tried.
I can touch the outer edges of it through prayer and meditation.
I can catch a fleeting glimpse of this powerful love when I look in the face of my newborn grand-daughter or hug my own son.
That's it.

I consider that question answered. There is, for me: Clearly a God.

Life After Death:
This one has come slowly.
I always begin with prayer.
I always express intent that the connection with loved ones be for the highest and best.
I carefully stay as open and impartial as humanly possible.
(Staying in 'right brain')
And astounding information does come through. Songs, words, images, things that sitting clients connect with clearly. Connections with each Spirit feel different to me. The energy and personality of each feels unique. They describe their lives, sometimes their own deaths and their ideas, personalities, quirks; all of it. The clients confirm the information and confirm a consistency of personality as they remember it.
And after all that, am I 100% convinced that there is, in fact, life after death?
....most of the time, yes. (Practicing a program of rigorous honesty, here.)

Sometimes, I wonder... are there other ways of receiving this information?
Could it be coming from the person I am tuning in with - from their own memories rather than from the Spirit themselves? That would be psychic info, rather than mediumship.
I don't think so... but can I be absolutely certain?

There are ways: the energy of the person I am reading does feel different from that of those around them, coming through in Spirit. But is that really quantifiable?
Well- the best pieces of proof for me are those things that come through that a person has no knowledge of, but gets verified later, with some research.
And that happens.

But it looks like I am such a skeptic by nature, that I have to continue to do the work; just to get to that second answer- and to be absolutely irrevocably convinced.

If you read this far, you now know why my students walk around with their writing hands in a sling. I go on a bit in class, too.
Just be glad you didn't have to take notes today.

Home, James.